Doctor Pfaltzgraff, I wish that you would act more like a scientist sometimes. Using my new scientific data (rhymes with "gnat-uh") I think that I have found the solution to your malaise... I call THIS experiment:
Mustache Mathematics
Take one unhappy Pfaltzgraff,
add a little bit of man,
and get a happy-go-lucky,
mollycoddle-free specimen.
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